OK, the Doritos ad during the Superbowl was cute, and I’m sure everyone had a bit of fun with some Diet Coke & Mentos.  But fer Crissake, can we please not beat this damn meme into the ground immediately?  I was hoping that we could have it hang around a bit, as we all get used to the idea, so that we don’t get inundated with shitty ads made by talentless ding-dongs hoping to get a lifetime supply of Cheddarwurst.  I was hoping that the ad industry wouldn’t grab onto this like paparazzi clinging to the bumper of Paris Hilton’s car … ah hell, what was I thinking?  It’s the ad industry.  Of course they’re going to seize on anything that allows them to keep charging outlandish fees for doing Sweet F.A.

The latest trend: ad agencies are springing up to handle consumer-generated advertising.  Uhhh … waitaminit.  Wasn’t the point that CGA would mean that industry would go directly to consumers, thus bypassing the agencies?  So why would anyone need…? is it that there’s a line item in the budget earmarked “Ad Agency Fee” and if it doesn’t get spent, the money starts to molder and stink?

See if you can plow your way through this with your head still screwed on straight:

Ad creators will be provided with approved brand assets (e.g. logos,
artwork, jingles, etc.) and guidelines for using the assets in their
ads. By submitting their ads they will become eligible for any prizes
or incentives that may be offered by the individual brands. The brands
may even choose to purchase an ad so they can be shown on national
television. Participating ad creators will be able to interact
with and expose their work to multiple leading American brands and
their agencies at one web address.
Learn more about Ad Creator participation.

consumer-generated commercials will appear on XLNTads.com, and all
content will be screened by XLNTads’ review boards for adherence to
specified brand guidelines, standards, and values.

Didja get that? This little outfit out of Conshohocken, PA, is going to handle the consumer ads for you.  Oh goody.  Never mind that all that means is that they are going to watch the same ads submitted by the consumers that you are, and tell you which ones they think are any good.

There’s another mechanism for this. It’s called “using your own brain.” Apparently quite foreign to executive suites, but still in vogue in places that actually want to make money, rather than places that employ people whose main goal in life is to avoid employing any critical faculties while hoping to crouch low enough in their cubicles to avoid executive notice, and just cycle air in and out of their lungs long enough to avoid being pronounced comatose.

I knew things were getting out of hand when I saw two separate come-ons in the condiments and salad dressing aisle down at the local Albertson’s, begging shoppers to try their hands at creating the next big TV ad.  Now, this kind of thing has been around since radio listeners were encouraged to mail in their 25-word-or-less slogan for Malt-O-Meal and win a special Little Orphan Annie decoder ring. But the recent innovations to this are all the slick-talking, empty buzzword-slinging outfits looking to scrape off some cash from companies to lazy, stupid or panicked to do their own thinking.

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