{"id":1019,"date":"2006-12-27T17:56:37","date_gmt":"2006-12-28T01:56:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.artesianmedia.com\/blog\/2006\/12\/27\/5-things-you-dont-know-about-me\/"},"modified":"2006-12-27T17:56:37","modified_gmt":"2006-12-28T01:56:37","slug":"5-things-you-dont-know-about-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.artesianmedia.com\/blog\/5-things-you-dont-know-about-me\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Things You Don’t Know About Me"},"content":{"rendered":"

Mack Reed of LAVoice<\/a> meme\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d me about a week ago, to add to
\nthe list of \u00e2\u20ac\u01535 Things You Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t Know About Me.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d This is trickier for me than you might think; because of my current day
\njob and my past day jobs, much of what might be interesting would result in
\nmayhem and\/or what Government Code Sections 3300 et seq.<\/a> defines as \u00e2\u20ac\u0153harm to
\nthe public service.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d <\/p>\n

Thus, I am going to delve back into earlier chapters in
\nthe Book of Dave to see if I can dredge something up that might surprise even
\nthose who have paid close attention to my long, pointless discursions\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 <\/p>\n

1. The first time I ever drove a powered vehicle, it was
\nan M-60 main battle tank.<\/a> The occasion was an \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Open House\u00e2\u20ac\u009d at  Ft.Coy,
\nin Wisconsin in 1970. At the time, the Pentagon was desperately trying to <\/a>spiff up its public image<\/a> \u00e2\u20ac\u201c
\nsomething about an unpopular foreign war, massive anti-draft riots and a
\nfaltering presidency. Anyway, they
\ninvited all the good Midwestern people in for a day where the sullen and
\nsuspicious draftees were put through their paces. Since my dad was then a Major in the Army
\nCorps of Engineers, I got to sit on the lap of a tank driver and peer through
\nthe hatch as the huge metal beast grumbled and bellowed up an incline. I was very upset that I had to leave before
\nthey fired the main 105mm cannon. I
\nstill remember the sight of junked cars pinwheeling through the air more than a
\nmile away, where the explosive shell hit. Then the F-4 Phantom jets came overhead and really unloaded. This experience led to my lifelong
\nfascination with heavy equipment and gadgets that make lots of noise.<\/a> <\/p>\n

\n2. I have only been mugged once in my life. This was while
\nI was driving by myself across Oaxaca.
\nI pulled into a gas station in the middle of the jungle and was looking out at the
\nway the tropical vegetation was already prying at the fresh-poured concrete
\nslab. I turned around, and two sweaty, desperate campesinos <\/a>were brandishing
\nmachetes and demanding money. They were about \u00c2\u00bd my size. But they held the
\nmachetes in tough, leathery hands and looked like they knew how to swing them.
\nThey were clearly not career banditos. I think they were just a couple of guys
\nin a bad space in their lives who saw me as the equivalent of manna from
\nheaven. I handed over a thick wad of bills that added up to about $50 U.S. and then sprinted away from me and into a pickup truck and screeched away.\n<\/p>\n

3. Despite serious, total-out car wrecks, falling 3
\nstories onto my face on a concrete sidewalk, being shot, run over and set on
\nfire, I have never broken a bone in my body. Must be the thick bones from all
\nthe cheese & milk from growing up in America\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s
\nDairyland<\/a>.\n<\/p>\n

4. The FBI tapped my phones after the Oklahoma
\nCity\/Tim McVeigh bombing.<\/a> <\/a> I was in Kingman Arizona, trying to use a local neo-Nazi
\npunk as a source. I later found out that
\nthe kid had been booted out of the Nazis not because he had found enlightenment
\n(he claimed he had woken up one day and realized that killing a minority just
\nto be admitted was \u00e2\u20ac\u0153bad\u00e2\u20ac\u009d), but because he was a dimwit meth freak.<\/a>\n<\/p>\n

5. [original story excised for being too dark and disturbing]<\/p>\n

5a. When I was a bored paparazzi, we used to prank-call known irascible movie stars. Such as, we’d call James Woods and ask, "Is your refrigerator running? Better go catch it! Ha!" and then hang up.  Just totally stupid stuff, the more infantile, the better.  Sometimes I wonder if that was the real reason Sean Young lost her marbles so spectacularly… Ah, the halcyon days before caller ID became common. <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And now it’s my turn to pass on this meme; first, to Canuckistan’s Dr. Tongue <\/a>in his 3-D House of Pancakes; then to erudite Kung-Fu Monkey;<\/a> high-def camera guru Mike Curtis at HD for Indies<\/a>; freelance writer guru Angela Booth<\/a>; and the highly caffeinated SharBean<\/a>.<\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Mack Reed of LAVoice meme\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d me about a week ago, to add to the list of \u00e2\u20ac\u01535 Things You Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t Know About Me.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d This is trickier for me than you might think; because of my current day job and my past day jobs, much of what might be interesting would result in mayhem and\/or what […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","wds_primary_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[389],"class_list":["post-1019","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","tag-memetagging"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artesianmedia.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1019","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artesianmedia.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artesianmedia.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artesianmedia.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/12"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artesianmedia.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1019"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.artesianmedia.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1019\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.artesianmedia.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1019"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artesianmedia.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1019"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.artesianmedia.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1019"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}